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Friday, September 07, 2012

Grumpy Old Guy Talking

Get off my lawn!


Although it tries to sell itself as such I couldn’t imagine anything less sexy than most popular music today. In fact, I’d be hard pressed to even define most of the crap as music that is making the playlists of music television stations.  These channels are often playing in the cafés I frequent here in Spain and this is just about my only connection to pop music now.  A lot of this shit doesn’t have much in the way of vocals and there is almost no instrumentation as all of the “music” is created—Frankenstein like—on computers. And what is that awful noise (I don’t know what it’s called) where the vocals sound as if they are coming from a kazoo stuffed up someone’s ass?

Here is a formula with almost mathematical precision: the louder you play the music in your car the shitter the music is. No one blasts Mozart on their car stereo. As I mentioned in another post, when a vehicle has those little lights and pounding dance beats I don't know if it's a car or a gay disco.

Kids, enough with the text message-speak.  Every once in a while you need to prove that you aren’t completely fucking illiterate by writing out things in full sentences with proper punctuation.  Can you do that?

And while we’re at it, kids, pull your damn pants up!

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