Get off my lawn! |
Although it tries to sell itself as
such, I couldn’t imagine anything less sexy than most popular music today. In
fact, I’d be hard pressed to even define most of the crap as music that is making
the playlists of music television stations.
These channels are often playing in the cafés I frequent here in Spain, just about my only connection to pop music now. A lot of this shit doesn’t have much in the
way of vocals, and there is almost no instrumentation as all of the “music” is
created—Frankenstein like—on computers. And what is that awful noise (I don’t
know what it’s called) where the vocals sound as if they are coming from a
kazoo stuffed up someone’s ass?
Here is a formula with almost
mathematical precision: the louder you play the music in your car, the shittier
the music is. No one blasts Mozart on their car stereo. As I mentioned in another post, when a vehicle has those little lights and pounding dance beats, I don't know if it's a car or a gay disco.
Kids, enough with the text
message-speak. Every once in a while you
need to prove that you aren’t completely fucking illiterate by writing out
things in full sentences with proper punctuation. Can you do that?
And while we’re at it, kids, pull
your damn pants up!
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