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Tuesday, April 25, 2017

Parenting Streamlined

I just thought of an idea for a virtual parenting app on your phone. It would be like auto-pilot for parents. You simply record a series of threats and admonishments in differing tones of voice, from impatient rebukes to full-throttled yelling, with stock phrases like “I’ll give you something to cry about;” or “Put that down;” or “I’m not going to tell you again. I mean it this time;” or “I’m gonna smack you silly, I swear;” or “Dad’s chainsaw is NOT a damn toy;”and, of course, lots of “SHUT UP, SHUT UP, for the love of all that is holy would you please SHUT UP!” in your highest pitch scream. For passive-aggressive parents you could record pleas and begging if you think that stuff works. 

I’m sure it would be easy enough to create an accurate timetable for when kids act up but even if these threats aren’t synchronized with the outbursts of your precious progeny at least the random paroxysms of outrage coming from your phone may keep the little guys on their toes. It would also help you to feel that you're trying just a bit as you sit behind your locked bedroom door with a bottle of wine while binge-watching TV.
The first thing that parents will say to this is that it won’t work. Probably not but neither does the actual talking, squawking, and screaming so at least you won’t have to repeat yourself a thousand times a day.

Monday, April 24, 2017

La Cumparsita Cumple 100 Años

You can either walk or dance down this street

Without a doubt the most famous song in all of tango, La Cumparsita was written by Gerardo Hernán Matos Rodríguez from Uruguay around 100 years ago, give or take a year. I think that it was first recorded in 1917. Of course, it has gone on to become the most iconic piece of music in all of South America.

The video above is the tutorial that I'm using to learn this song on the piano. The pianist, Pablo Keilis was kind enough to send me a copy of his original arrangement for students of the piano.

Because La Cumparsita is a tango and the tango is a dance I have posted the video below of two great dancers ripping up this song on the floor.

Friday, April 21, 2017

Piano Diary: My First Rag

 I doubt that I will ever play it this well.

One of the things I decided when I began playing the piano again was that I would explore different kinds of music outside of the usual classical music repertoire for amateur piano players. I have learned a bit of boogie-woogie and some blues stuff. The Santa Lucia Rag arranged by Martha Mier has been my first attempt at a piece in ragtime, or a rag as they are called. Syncopated rhythm is completely alien to me so this has been something of a struggle.

It has been a real pleasure to become acquainted with Martha Mier through her music. She is very well-known among folks who are learning the piano as she has dedicated her life to education and composition in this field. This great little arrangement can be found in her book Classical Jazz, Rags & Blues 2.

My initial work on this song has been like chipping away at a huge piece of granite (but much harder than granite!) with a very small hammer (and my hammer seems to have been made out of cork) trying to make a sculpture. Somewhere inside of that chunk of rock lies the song. After two days of work there is almost no indication of music apparent in what I am pounding out. I think that I may have been born without whatever organ is responsible for rhythm and timing. I felt so clumsy when I first began on this piece that I nearly fell off my bench. At this point in the struggle I can’t be sure if there will be any survivors.

Thursday, April 20, 2017

Terrorists or Mass Murdering Psychopaths?

Dead Pervert & ISIS Founder
Suicide by cop is a suicide method in which a suicidal individual deliberately behaves in a threatening manner, with intent to provoke a lethal response from a law enforcement officer.

And now we have Suicide by Islam in which mentally ill losers hide behind religion to commit psychotic murders and then mask their suicide by allowing themselves to be killed by authorities.

I have a couple of thoughts on the killings in the name of religion, most of which have little to do with religion. None of these psychopaths were religious to any degree; what they did have in common was mental illness and sociopathic tendencies stemming from sexual dysfunction. By linking these heinous acts to Islam we are hurting ourselves by elevating the perpetrators to martyrdom. They didn't do it in the name of religion; they just like murdering people. The fact that they were Muslim had little to do with their actions except now this sort of outrage has become the default setting for any mentally ill and sexually confused Muslim in the West. 

This isn't to say that the psyches of these individuals weren't severely compromised by the rigidity of the Muslim faith but I think the pattern shows that they acted out not because of religion but because of suicidal tendencies mixed with a desire to attain something in the way of glory.

There is no long-range military or police solution to this problem but we can and absolutely must fight back. We need to wage a propaganda war and we need to learn how to fight dirty. We in the West are masters at marketing so we just need to sell our brand better than ISIS is selling their horrible product.

We need to stop glamorizing these people and call them what they really are: psychopaths, pure and simple. To call them terrorists gives them more status than they deserve. I read in one French newspaper where they called them “commandos”  or "soldiers of ISIS" (soldat de Daech) as if these complete losers were on a par with Che Guevara. We should never dignify these acts by calling the mass murderers jihadists, martyrs, or terrorists and we should be very careful about calling these outrages Islamic extremism unless we want to do the bidding for ISIS.

Stop saying the plans were “masterminded” by such and such total loser. It doesn’t take a mastermind to slaughter innocent people; it takes a mentally deranged psychopath and little else. They aren’t religious martyrs; they are criminals who are desperately trying to do something that will give a shred of meaning to their completely empty existences.

All of the creeps who have murdered innocent people in France, Belgium, and America were about as Muslim as I am Catholic. They were all no-account fucking losers following a movement that was created by another no-account fucking loser who also wasn’t really much of a Muslim, Abu Musab al-Zarqawi. Zarqawi, like his loser followers, was a petty criminal who decided that religion gave a nice cover to his psychopathic tendencies and desire to kill women and children.

What all of these murderers were looking for was the opportunity to become, in death, some sort of legendary figure. If anyone thinking of doing something similar knew that they would be insulted and mocked for their deeds they absolutely wouldn’t do it.  

The woman who lived next door to the maniac who drove the truck through a crowd of women and children in Nice said that he stared at children a lot (for once The Daily Mail uses their power for good, not evil). So let’s tell the rest of the world that he was a pedophile. Let’s make his legacy that of a child molester instead of raising his status out of the sewer. And it turns out he had a 73 year old man as a fuck buddy.

 This Israeli paper has the right idea by dwelling on Omar Mateen's obvious homosexuality. His killing spree had nothing to do with Islam; he just didn't have the nuts to admit that he was gay which seems to be the case with the Nice mass murderer.
Instead of carpet bombing and drones we need a dirty war of propaganda, a smear campaign to destroy anything resembling a reputation that the killers may have had in life. We need to mock their cowardly attacks and then slander everything about them as well as anyone who aided them in any way.

Let me walk you through this. Let’s begin with the couple from San Bernardino, Syed Rizwan Farook and Tashfeen Malik, who slaughtered 14 innocent human beings. They should forever be known as Raging Homosexual and his Ass-Ugly Whore Wife.

Blow Job Artist and his Ass-Ugly Whore Wife

In order to win this war we need to break a few rules and beat these scum at their own game. ISIS punishes homosexuals with death, yet their ranks are teaming with men who positively hate women. Here in the more tolerant West, there is no crime in being an ugly whore, but this is the most insulting thing we can hurl at this murderous hag. Tashfeen Malik was just way too fucking ugly to actually work as a prostitute, but it was her childhood dream so she found her fetish niche: letting old, Turkish truck drivers stand over her and shit on her face. She didn't make much of a living at it, but she got by and truly loved her job. 

If ever a woman's face screamed out for a burka, it was the one on this pig. When they got married they became a husband and wife team, and Syed Rizwan Farook would blow the Turkish truck drivers as they crapped on his wife's face. As it turns out this was as close as the newlyweds got as far as consummating their marriage. A creepy couple by any standards, but they fit in well at ISIS.

Next we have the Nice psychopathic murderer Mohamed Lahouaiej Bouhlel, or Mohamed Lahouaiej Bouhlel
the wife-beating child molester.  If ISIS wants to claim this total piece of shit, then their standards are even lower than I thought.

Mohamed Lahouaiej Bouhlel Pedophile & Serial Killer Piece of Shit 
Mohamed Lahouaiej Bouhlel Angry after Testing Positive for Anal Herpes

The Paris attackers all had each others' semen in their rectums which was probably difficult because all of them combined could barely manage one erect penis.
Omar Mateen: Recent Jewish Convert , Cum Dumpster,
 & ISIS Pin-Up Boy
See how easy this is? Go ahead and give it a try! It's fun.

Next, we need to have a campaign that donates $5 million to Israel for every innocent victim in the West killed in the name of Islam. Israel can then dedicate a monument in the name of the murderer thanking him for the effort. So, if you kill innocent people in the West, you will be aiding Israel directly. Got it? Or even better, we can say that they were secretly Jewish converts.  The point of all this is to do the exact opposite of what these serial killers expect as a legacy.

In conclusion, our message should be this: if you are a complete loser-asshole filled with self-loathing and thinking of doing harm to innocent people with the hope of gaining some sort of glory in the afterlife, you must know that we will make the world believe that you were nothing but a degenerate piece of shit. You won’t be thought of as a martyr for your religion, but instead a perverted serial killer.

Or maybe you think that these tactics are crude and uncivilized to combat people who run down innocent men, women, and children in the street? Does anyone think that the families of the victims would find this too harsh? We need to fight back but there is no short or long term military solution to suicidal losers who seek some sort of glory in horrific acts. They aren't afraid of death. Hell, they're looking for death. What they fear is to be seen as the slime that they truly are.  This is a way to punish the culprits beyond the grave.

We wouldn’t need to compromise our free press in this reputation assault against mass murderers. Social media would work wonderfully to facilitate our propaganda war just as it has worked to promote acts of violence. All it would take would be a few people with access to the profiles of the murderers who would then fabricate slanders like I have written above with humor being a key element and just enough verisimilitude to show that it is all based on truth. With 100 dummy Facebook accounts these posts could go out on the web to be shared around the globe only moments after identifying the culprits. ISIS is already doing similar propaganda operations that have proven highly effective in disseminating their message.

I can’t even believe that after taking out Osama Bin Laden we didn’t slander his name with all of the evidence we hauled out of his home in Abbottabad. Why didn’t we reveal the contents of his porn stash? You just know that it had to be nothing but bestiality and she-male porn? I could have had a field day. 


Karim Cheurfi & boyfriend
This is the most recent member of the morons of terrorism: French national, complete piece of shit, and pedophile Karim Cheurfi. He was 39 years old and lived with his mom until he decided to kill a policeman because he didn't have the guts to kill himself. He was killed shortly after his attack. Once again, the guy is about as religious as I am but this is the default setting for mentally ill people with a background in Islam. "I'll put an end to my miserable existence and be a religious hero!" He was a lifelong degenerate and criminal and religion played no part in his life.