Found on the bulletin board near the mailbox in my building.
(comments in parenthesis are mine)
Men’s Speedo Swimsuit x-large $12
(What is that stain and do you think it will come out?)
2001 Mazda Miyata $28,000
(Wouldn’t it be cheaper and easier to just rent one of those sound trucks with the big loudspeakers and drive around town yelling out that you haven’t had a decent erection since the other Bush was in office?)
“What Women Want” book on tape. Never opened
and still in the box. $18
(Why bother learning now?)
Soloflex machine. Never used $500
(Way to give fitness the old college try!)
200+ back issues of Hustler.
(Here’s my offer: You stand on a high ledge, I’ll push.)
“Buns of Steel in 2 Minutes a Day” video $10
(Who’s got that kind of time?)
Penis enlargement Pump. Well used but still
In good condition. $30
(We’ll just assume that’s in the small size like the one Woody Allen has.)
4 bottles of Rogaine, assorted toupés, and existing membership
in Hair Club For Men $80
(Finally just said “Fuck it” and shaved your head, huh?)
“How to Pick Up Women” paperback $5
(With the women you’re likely to meet I’d advise to lift with your legs, not with your back.)
Assorted gold chains $50 each
(Any fake chest hair and bad after shave to go with those?)
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