One of the things that I love the
most about Spain, and something that I discovered almost immediately is how
people make a connection with one another during life’s simple moments. This first happened to me in Valencia on my very
first trip in the elevator in the short-term apartment I rented when I arrived
here six years ago. My older brother and I got into the small lift with a young
woman and her boy of about 4. He had a toy boat with him and I asked him where
he was going, you know, small talk stuff.
When we got to the bottom floor the woman said “hasta luego” (meaning “latter”
or something like that) as we parted. I
think Americans are about a million times chattier with strangers than
Europeans, but we rarely talk to anonymous strangers on an elevator, so this was
a bit of a shock to me.
I learned very quickly that the Spanish
have very different ideas than Americans about what is considered polite and
impolite behavior when interacting with strangers. The guidelines here in Spain
are fairly simple so I’ll attempt to explain a few of them here.
When you leave an elevator you
always say “hasta luego.” You wouldn’t say it if there is no one else on
the elevator, of course, unless you just like the sound of those two words.
When you leave a bar you say “hasta luego”
to whomever served you and to everyone in general. Some of the customers may bid
you farewell, that’s just the way it is. When you are walking down the street
and pass someone you know but not really well enough to stop and have a chat
you say “hasta luego” instead of “hola” or some other greeting. You say “hasta
luego” when you part company with just about anyone with whom you have had the
slightest bit of interaction, like borrowing their lighter, or asking them for
the time, or asking directions, or asking if they have finished reading the
paper in a café, or any possible human contact beyond simply being in the same
general area—although sometimes even this warrants an “hasta luego.”
The other day I stepped into a
book and print shop to buy a couple of ink pens. The proprietor was photocopying something for
a young man who probably attends the local technical school. She stepped away from the copying machine and
attended to my purchase which only took a few seconds and then went back to
doing whatever it was she was doing for the young man. I bid farewell and both
she and the young man answered, “hasta luego.” I was sort of tickled that the
young man somehow felt himself to be an accomplice in this minor scene and was thus compelled
to participate. But when you think about it, why wouldn’t he? We’re three human
beings sharing a common space albeit for only a couple of seconds. Why shouldn’t
we be outwardly civil to one another?
I actually feel self-conscious
about leaving a bar without saying goodbye. If the barman is in the back I will
wait a bit for him to return so that I don’t sneak out like a rat without
exchanging pleasantries. What kind of person would do that?
Most people who simply read about
this behavior wouldn’t think it’s a very big deal, and I’m not really saying
that it is. As I mentioned, it’s just different rules for politeness but there
are many times when I’m surprised by how these two simple words can lend an air
of intimacy to an otherwise completely mundane situation.
I like the "Buen@s (whatever time of day)" most people offer to the bus drivers in Madrid as we dip our ticket. (Though I miss the loudmouthed cheery slapstick bus drivers of NYC.)
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