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Tuesday, March 15, 2011

Fool For Pain and Suffering


Don’t plan your April Fool’s jokes until you have read this:

If I learned one thing as a kid from watching countless hours of The Three Stooges and Tom & Jerry cartoons it’s that violence is funny.  And is there anything more precious in this world than the sound of a child laughing at a guy who just got hit in the face with a coal shovel? What is more entertaining than the sight of a cat being run over by a rodent-driven steam roller? In any given humor situation the laughs will increase exponentially with the addition of a little sadistic mayhem.  Remember this while you are planning this year’s April Fool’s gag that you’ll spring on unsuspecting friends and family.  You can stick with whatever lame and unfunny concept you have mapped out already, just don’t forget to add a bit of the sick and twisted for that extra oomph at the punch line.

To help you gain more laughs from whatever hoax you have dreamed up for the holiday we have prepared these easy-to-use joke add-ons.  You will be amazed at how much your own gag can be improved with a little savagery.  Let’s say that you came up with the brilliant idea of buying fake vomit. Add this timeless classic to one or more or the below options and you instantly have a comedic winner.

…Push subject down a flight of metal stairs
…Use ski rope to attach elderly relative’s wheel chair to back of subway car.
…Balance bowling ball on top of door so that it falls on head of unsuspecting friend.
…A slippery floor, a gentle nudge from behind, and a wood chipper. LOL!

...or any number of thousands of sick ideas we took directly from children’s television programs.  Even Hannibal Lector flinches a bit while watching episodes of The Roadrunner and he thought many of the gags went too far.

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