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Saturday, March 09, 2002

Teen Killed in Cheerleading Accident

(based on a true story)

I was watching ESPN and some college basketball game was on. The cheerleaders looked so incredibly upbeat. Upbeat, sure, but what if one of them died? What then? What if a young life was cut short in the middle of a peppy cheer? What then? My god, the humanity. What a senseless tragedy. Can you even imagine a world without cheerleaders? Wake up, America!

Only moments ago you were shouting words of encouragement to the team. Things like "go team" and "steal that ball" and "For fuck's sake, can you at least pretend to play a little defense?" Now your mangled corpse lies sprawled on the gym floor, your little hand still clutching a pom-pom. But wait. You're moving. Thank god, you're alive. No, it's just that gross nervous twitching thing that dead things do. Can we get this body out of here? We still got another quarter to play.

The game must go on. Nobody knows that better than the lifeless heap with saddle shoes the janitor is dragging out the fire exit by her ankles. What a trooper, a real team player, right up until the fatality. There will be a burial, stop being so impatient. This is the week of the state finals so right after that we'll take proper care of the body. A week or two won't make any difference, what with as cold as it's been lately.

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