Welcome to the Shooting Gallery

I thought things were kind of quiet until discovering that the news about mass shootings in the newspaper is in a different spot. It used to be between the Sudoku and the weather, but now it’s between sports and financial news.

In a not-entirely-unrelated matter, ever wonder what the body count has to be to make the front pages these days? I’m thinking 10 deaths has to be the cut-off otherwise that’s just about the only news you’d see.

On the recent shooting in a Chicago hospital:

“Our first goal was to start grabbing patients out of the rooms,” said Clarence Smith, a hospital worker who described evacuating four patients, including one in a wheelchair, during the chaotic and frightening minutes that followed a cascade of gunshots. “You don’t know if the active shooter is down the hall or not. You had to put the blinders on and just keeping moving forward, and that’s what I did.”

So things have become so insane that we’re taking people OUT of the hospital to keep them safe? OK, I got it. Is this an example of a metaphor or is it symbolism? I always confuse those two. Or irony? I mean besides being totally insane.

Since we lack the political will to do anything about the sale of firearms to any maniac who wants one, I’m thoroughly convinced that the only way we can defend ourselves against gun violence is to attack the masculinity of the shooters. I'm not saying that everyone who buys a gun has no penis, but I would say this is the case with mass murderers.

“Police were puzzled to find that the gunman had no discernible genitalia. ‘It was just all smooth down there, like a Ken doll,’ a police spokesman said.”

Or:

“Investigators say that the shooter’s apartment seemed to be a shrine dedicated to the animated movie Frozen with every wall covered by photos of the two sisters, Ana and Elsa.”

It’s called Psychological operations (PSYOP). Part of the reason they do it is to garner some sort of creepy fame. We need to control the message and the message is that they are total f-ing losers. Or we can just continue to run serpentine.

I don’t have the answers on proper gun legislation, but I’m almost certain that making them easier to purchase than a bottle of gin isn’t the solution.