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Sunday, December 11, 2016

Top Ten Bob Dylan Excuses for Not Showing up at Nobel Prize Party

1.    Committee refused to validate parking
2.    Too busy listening to Stop Mumbling through Hypnosis audiobook
3.    Had to wait around at home for cable guy
4.    Afraid of getting beat up by Swedish poet not chosen
5.    Poker night with homies from rehab
6.    Thought Nobel Prize was a telemarketing scam
7.     Taco Tuesday at Dylan house
8.    Nobel groupies just not up to Dylan standards
9. Lost track of time helping Al Pacino write his acceptance speech for next year’s award. 
10. Schedule conflict with weekly Band vs. Roadies Ultimate Frisbee match.

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