A question for anyone who stays up all night watching infomercials: Is there some sort of Ronco® gadget for cleaning artichokes? Because if there is such a thing as an artichoke cleaning gadget and I just wasted 30 minutes in the kitchen cleaning freaking artichokes then I think I’ll throw myself under one of the parades here in Valencia—suicide by marching band.
OK, Ronco® doesn’t make this gadget because I just looked on their website, no kidding. That’s how much cleaning artichokes sucks. And I know what you’re thinking, “Maybe you’re doing it wrong?” which is a pretty safe assumption seeing how you could ask the same thing about everything I do.
On my deathbed* I’m sure that I’ll regret cleaning all those artichokes over the years when I should have gone out and made something of my life besides arroz con costillas y alcachofas. Enough artichokes to make a medium paella leaves you with enough waste to fill a body bag meant for Pau Gasol.
*A bed isn’t my first choice of places where I’d like to die because it implies illness. I’d rather be eaten by a shark than be sick for more than a couple days. Sharks gotta eat too.