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Sunday, March 17, 2013

Manual Labor is Way Overrated

A question for anyone who stays up all night watching infomercials: Is there some sort of Ronco® gadget for cleaning artichokes? Because if there is such a thing as an artichoke cleaning gadget and I just wasted 30 minutes in the kitchen cleaning freaking artichokes then I think I’ll throw myself under one of the parades here in Valencia—suicide by marching band.

OK, Ronco® doesn’t make this gadget because I just looked on their website, no kidding. That’s how much cleaning artichokes sucks. And I know what you’re thinking, “Maybe you’re doing it wrong?” which is a pretty safe assumption seeing how you could ask the same thing about everything I do.

On my deathbed* I’m sure that I’ll regret cleaning all those artichokes over the years when I should have gone out and made something of my life besides arroz con costillas y alcachofas. Enough artichokes to make a medium paella leaves you with enough waste to fill a body bag meant for Pau Gasol.

*A bed isn’t my first choice of places where I’d like to die because it implies illness. I’d rather be eaten by a shark than be sick for more than a couple days. Sharks gotta eat too.

1 comment:

  1. I have a secret for doing this work less tedious. Every artichoke I clean pays a thin slice from its base. And I eat it immediately. For me is like a delicious "aperitivo" and nobody notice it.

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