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Thursday, July 21, 2011

How Do You Say "BB Gun" in Spanish?

No kidding, I don’t know how to say it and it isn’t in the dictionary. Maybe they don’t have them here. I just spent 45 minutes on Google trying to come up with a way to get rid of the pigeons in the back area of my new building. The other methods didn't seem to be particularly effective so I thought to myself, "What would Clint Eastwood do?" And then I thought, "What would an adolescent Clint Eastwood do?"

Violence or non-violence? I could go either way if I don’t have to be raised from my sleep at 06:30 by the mad cooing of a half dozen of this species of flying rat. I know someone who had a pigeon trapped in her apartment for a weekend while she was away and it did more damaged than a party hosted by a rock drummer, so don’t tell me that they are harmless.  I’m not looking for a wholesale slaughter of these flying pests, but they don’t seem to respond to any reasonable requests to vacate the area. It’s not like I’m opposed to a mass killing of these horrible city dwellers, but I just don’t want to get personally involved.

It’s hard to pin down what I dislike the most about these foul creatures, but the noises they make rate high on my list. First, there is that awful cooing, and then there is that even more vulgar squawky thing they do which sounds like the aforementioned rock drummer drowning on his own vomit.


No rock drummers were killed in the making of this essay.  Since it took me over 15 minutes to write this, I’m sure that a rock drummer or two died as the result of some very unnatural cause, but I had nothing to do with it.


  1. According to the sporting goods store on c/Espoz y Mina in Madid (jut off Puerta del Sol)they're pistsolas de perdigones (or rifles, but I think they're sold more in short-arm form)The perdigones can be little round metal balls, or plastic mini-bullets, the latter I think being more common. )I know because I asked about them once, but now for birds. I was seriously thinking about using one to disperse the brats doing botellón on my street.

  2. I meant to post this link as well.


  3. Thanks. I looked on wordreference and all they had was air rifle. I am seriously considering this purchase if just to scare them a bit. I see this as a fairly slippery slope, however, as I could see myself becoming some sort of pigeon Ahab.

  4. Talk to the porteros on your new street, or some of the oldsters. Depends where the birds hang out. I've seen some people hang old CDs on plastic string on balconies because the reflections scare the birds.Are you sure someone isn't feeding them? There's a loon on my block who puts out crumbs, but the porteros are hip to her now and pretty much scare her away.


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