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Sunday, July 24, 2011

Buzz Words that Send Conservatives into Fits of Apoplexy



American conservatives have been programed to react—almost violently at times—to certain buzzwords.  It’s a simple strategy for the feeble-minded to trigger a common reaction from the ranks, to squelch opposition, or to help counter any criticism of their agenda. Once the buzzword is mentioned then they have a list of well-rehearsed phrases that follow. I think it’s best to explain this through examples.

Taxes
I’ll begin with the far-right conservative’s favorite buzz word.  Once American extreme-right conservatives hook into an issue it’s like an abusive Catholic marriage: no matter how pathetic and wrong they may be, they refuse to divorce themselves from their insane position.  Grover Norquist’s “Taxpayer Protection Pledge” that so many Republicans have taken is one of the most idiotic vows ever imagined, but to most American conservatives it seems entirely reasonable. Once you have taken this pledge to never raise taxes you have relinquished any hope of being a rational human being.

Europe
It’s difficult to understand the conservatives’ hatred of anything having to do with Europe.  I suppose that it is based on many factors but primarily it has to do with the fact that many European social democracies have proven that the main tenets of American conservative politics are simply wrong.  These countries are doing better than America in almost every category. I’ll get into the specifics of this when I address other buzz words.

Conservatives seem to have an especially deep hatred for the French, or cheese-eating surrender monkeys as they call them. This is a bit ironic since many of the conservatives who invented this vitriol did everything dress up in women’s clothes to avoid being drafted during Viet Nam and few of the younger fire-breathing assholes on the Right have bothered serving in the military. I am guessing that conservatives’ hatred of France and anything Europe may also have something to do with an inferiority complex as they perceive many Europeans as being educated, well-traveled, and sophisticated.  To the stupid, any display of sophistication is the polar opposite of what they consider to be masculine. In the 2004 presidential election John Kerry practically had to deny that he speaks fluent French. Note to stupid hillbillies: if you are a stupid hillbilly this doesn't mean that you are best served by having a stupid hillbilly as your president.

Abortion
The people controlling the American conservative movement couldn’t give a shit about abortion. The rich in this country have always had access to safe abortions and always will. What most hillbillies don’t realize is that all that Roe v. Wade did was to provide this same access to people who aren’t millionaires.  If you are stridently anti-abortion while at the same time anti-birth control, then you are simply a medievalist. Period.  As far as this matter goes, we have already been where conservatives are trying to take us and we didn’t much like it. Look at modern day Latin America which almost universally outlaws abortion. Do we really want to be like them? The answer is NO!

Trains and Public Transportation
I suppose that conservatives’ hatred of public transportation is related to their hatred of Europe and anything European.  Like so many other stances taken by the Right their opposition to investing in the infrastructure necessary for good public transportation lacks even a modicum of common sense. They will fly into a rage at the mention of the government supporting AMTRAK (America’s rail service) yet don’t seem to mind when the same government builds roads and airports. While many countries in Western Europe are practically falling over each other to extend their networks of high-speed rail, America lags a half a century behind in this area and continues to perpetuate the destructive culture of automobiles.

Guns
Don't even mention guns around these mouth-breathers. They act as if gun ownership is the most sacred privilege of any human being. Absolutely any limit to a private individual's right to fire arms is blasphemy to them.

2 comments:

  1. Well, I don't know, I think the distaste for Europe (when Americans even bother thinking of Europe other than a vacation destination)comes from a larger social consciousness borne of our immigrant ancestors that came here to get away from the norms and restrictions that did not allow them anything other than the life they were born into. Socially you were born into money or you were not, and if you had money you were educated, if not you developed a trade or just worked, and that was your lot in life. If you started a business, it took several generations to see success due to taxes and government restrictions (Italy is still exactly the same today, if not worse. Spain is slightly better and France, being the wealthiest of the three is probably the best along these lines).

    Also, just to play devils advocate, my father is a pretty conservative Republican, though not in a bible belt kind of way, as he is an atheist and supports abortion, though the word taxes does make his blood boil and he owns guns of course. But I gotta stick up for my pops because during the Vietnam war he was in med school, so he certainly didn't have to go, but he volunteered for two tours of duty in the Army, with the Green Berets no less.

    So, anyway, I am not sure if I have a point other than probably the educated conservatives are not so rabid and idiotic. I am by no means a conservative but I am sure as hell not a liberal either.

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  2. I don't think Americans' dislike for Europe and Europeans goes back that far, not even close. And of course I'm not saying that ALL American conservatives are assholes but they do tend to stick to extremes and aren't comfortable with compromise.

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