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Tuesday, September 14, 2010

If You Don't Like It, Burn It.

The big controversy going on in America right now is because someone wants to burn a Koran…or a flag…or a Bible…or something. Someone wants to burn something and other people don’t want them to burn it. The Koran is written in Arabic so if some half-retard, hillbilly preacher wants to burn a Koran, and other people don’t want him to burn it, they should just give him a Cairo phone book and tell him it’s the Koran. I doubt that the hillbilly preacher can read Arabic. In fact, I’d wager than when he reads in English he moves his lips. He says he wants to burn the Koran because it is a book for religious extremists.  So the hillbilly preacher is too stupid to read without moving his lips and he isn’t aware when irony comes up to him and bites him on the ass.

I believe that I have come to a compromise that we can all agree on concerning this matter. I suggest that we burn the hillbilly preacher on a pyre of Muslims extremists. Or how about if we make a bonfire with copies of Eat, Pray, Love and use it to burn copies of books about vampires? Or we build a fire with food from The Olive Garden® to burn the Italian national football team? It’s what you call a win-win situation if you are prone to using that sort of vocabulary.  You can also call it multi-tasking if you want to use a really obnoxious bit of pop culture speak. Because everyone knows the best way to deal with shit you don’t like or understand is to burn it and what better way is there to burn something you don’t like with something you don’t understand?

In this same vein of religious stupidity and mutual intolerance is the story of the mosque, or whatever the fuck it is, the Muslims want to build in New York in the area of ground zero, or whatever the fuck they call it. My take on this non-issue is this: build the thing or not, it won’t mean a damn thing to all of the hillbillies going crazy opposing it. With that said, the Muslim community should have backed off on the issue a long, long time ago. The fact that this has dominated the news in America for so long is simply pathetic.  It's absurd to even discuss this when we have such drastic issues to resolve like an ever-decreasing industrial base, an ever-widening inequality in incomes, crumbling infrastructure, and boys who still walk around with their underwear showing.

In a related story here in Spain a disco in Murcia called El Mecca is being verbally attacked (verbally for now) by members of the world’s Muslim community who find the name offensive. This begs the question, what the fuck don’t Muslims find offensive? They are offended by the sight of a woman’s hair, for Pete's sake.  The night club is thinking about changing its name to avoid further conflict. Some possible name changes are “Muslims are easily-offended douche bags” and “Lighten the Fuck Up Muslims”. Seeking guidance in the matter, the club owners are in contact with the supreme religious leader in Iran, the Ayatollah Shaggy. 

Perhaps Islam is the religion of peace as they claim but when you offend Muslims there is always at least the thought of violence.  It's really creepy, at least for this non-Muslim. If I offended a Seventh Day Adventist I wouldn't feel afraid for my life. As I said before with the controversy over the Mohammed cartoons, I think it is up to all Westerners to offend Muslims constantly until they get the point that what I think of their silly religion (and I think all religions are silly) shouldn't matter to them in the least.


  1. Yr are a huge fucking Envious atheist ! Don t worry you and the other have the same place in Hereafter, so think about what can happend to y there

  2. You should think about taking an English writing class if you make it to the afterlife.


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