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Thursday, August 26, 2010

Least Profitable Businesses and Professions

We all know that the job market is a little flat these days but this doesn’t mean that you have to take any employment you can find. There are lots of jobs out there that you are lucky not having.  It’s not like you marry the first person you meet so with careers it’s sometimes prudent to play hard to get. To get a glimpse of some lousy business ideas just take a look through the yellow pages of your phone book (Some of you are probably asking, “What the hell is a phone book?”).
-Harmonica Repair Shop.  Based on a true story. I suppose that someone has to fix them; just don’t let it be you.
-Car Air Freshener Superstore. Acres of free parking.
-The Hemorrhoid Medicine Hut. Coming to a mall near you. Ewe!
-Segway Driving School.  I saw a meter maid riding one of those dorky things and I thought to myself, “Someone actually found a way to make that job more ridiculous.”
-Food Vendor at Public Executions and Mutilations.  Unless the world is a lot more sick and twisted than I could ever imagine, I don’t think folks work up an appetite while waiting for a hanging.  Selling alcohol at these events is a completely different story. Booze is always a good business. Which leads to the next entry.
-Avoid any business that doesn’t sell booze. You can’t fight human nature and countless studies have shown that humans love martinis, shaken and stirred.
-While you’re at it I’d stay away from any business that requires people to read.  Reading is a skill that just isn’t fashionable these days. What’s next for human evolution? People too lazy and stupid to watch videos?

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