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Sunday, August 29, 2010

Fleeting Fashions

Fashions of 1990-2010 and 2020-2060

I don’t know if Spain is catching up with the tattoo fad or if tattoos are still fashionable everywhere but it still looks to me like an out of control epidemic. How someone else mutilates their own body isn’t really my business but whenever anyone asks my opinion about tattoos I give it to them: I think they are, for the most part, nothing short of disgusting. And how cool could they be if everyone and their little sister have one? And no, I don’t think yours is cool. It’s nothing personal, I just think that tattoos are trashy and show at least a temporary lack of good judgment.  If this opinion seems harsh and judgmental to you then good. I'm writing this with the hope of dissuading someone thinking about permanently messing up their body. Besides, most people I know regret their dabble into skin art.

I can almost understand a tattoo if it has some deep personal meaning for you. I understand men and women who have U.S.M.C on their beefy forearms. Hell, I’ll even buy an ex-marine a drink.  But tell me how is a dolphin, the sun, or a Loony Tunes-Disney character meaningful to you? I’m surprised that Disney doesn’t go after people with Mickey Mouse tattoos for copyright infringement. And do you really want to share the rest of your life with Tweety Bird® or one of the lesser characters?  

Or how about tattoos in foreign languages you don’t speak? That reminds me of all of those retarded t-shirt slogans in English worn by people who don’t speak English.  That Chinese scribbling on your lower back that you think means “Valiant Warrior” could mean “Butt Plug My Face, OK?” for all you know. I wonder if Chinese people get tattoos in English just because they think it looks cool?

Whether hipsters want to admit it or not, tattoos are just fashion. The problem is the permanency. A tattoo is like having a pair of parachute pants you can’t give away to Goodwill or a mullet that you have to have surgically removed.  I saw a show on TV a while back about some quasi-literate snowboarder who was getting a tattoo. He said that he wanted to stick out from the crowd. I think not having a tattoo is a great way to be different.  So kids, be the first one on your block to say “no” to tattoos.

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