The Morning of: Stunned but not Surprised

If I’ve learned one thing in all of this election cycle it’s that I have no idea what makes the uneducated white American tick. I can’t for the life of me understand how this demographic believes that this man will somehow speak for them when he has spent his entire life being contemptuous of anyone outside of his income level. I may never write about politics ever again. I think that liberalism in America is dead.

So be prepared for abortion to be illegal...again. Get ready for 20 million newly-insured people under the Affordable Care Act to be relegated to the emergency room if they want health care, and let's start a pool as to when we wage another foreign war. I say that we'll have troops on the ground somewhere by March of 2017.

I say fuck you to everyone out there trying to put the blame for this loss on liberals. How about putting the blame on the country bumpkins who voted for this dangerous idiot and who can't be bothered to read a newspaper article? They don't have any real idea of what they voted for as Trump talked only in vagaries about policy or he said nothing at all as regarding environmental issues. His health care is going to be great. He's going to stop terrorism very quickly. I could go on with his fucking idiotic pronouncements but we only need to wait six months to have a really good idea about how messed up this country will be and there will be no one to blame but the GOP. 

This piece in The New Yorker is worth reading. 

November

Still more unseasonably warm weather here in Valencia.  For cycling it couldn’t be better but I don’t mind the really hot stuff we have here in the summer. Shorts, short sleeves, and I don’t have to lather myself in 50 SPF sunscreen every time I go out for a ride.

Spanish Driver’s Guide to Horn Honking

In another essay I wrote about how we could reduce horn honking

The first thing you must remember about driving in Spain is that horns are not a way to warn people; they are used as weapons. Think of a horn as the passive-aggressive version of punching someone in the face. I’ve actually seen driving instructors encouraging their pupils to use the horn as a tactical weapon. You absolutely never pass up an opportunity to lean on your horn; if you show even a shred of restraint then you are failing as a driver—and don’t ever confuse drivers with human beings because these are two very separate life forms as people go through a transformation once they are under internally-combusted power. 

It’s like the old joke that Italians gesticulate so much when they talk that if you tie them up they are rendered mute. A horn is as essential to a Spanish car as the engine. This noise-making device gets as much usage as the tires.  

After you learn that only indiscriminate use of your horn is permissible, the next lesson is just how much horn to apply in any given situation. This can be broken down into four applications.

1 – Just a Brief Tap

Just tapping your horn is the method least used in street situations, and is appropriate in only occasional and very narrowly defined circumstances. I can’t list every case when a brief tap is adequate but here are a few examples.

-To test your horn before you start driving. If your horn isn’t working consider public transport.

-Someone in a wheelchair isn’t showing sufficient hustle in clearing the crosswalk. Give them a tap for motivation.

-You want to say something to your child sitting in the passenger seat beside you but they’re wearing headphones and doing their level best to ignore you.

2 – A Good, Solid Honk (GSH)

If you aren’t honking like this a couple of dozen times every time you get behind the wheel then you're doing it wrong. How else can you get your point across to the jerk in front of you who hasn’t sent his vehicle in motion the split second the light turns green…or even before? Constantly honking your horn is what keeps traffic moving smoothly, and it’s what separates us from the animals. Not honking when you have every right to honk is a sign of weakness that other drivers will use to humiliate you. Don’t let that happen! A GSH is also used to say hello to pedestrians and other drivers, and don’t worry about frightening the bejesus out of unsuspecting passersby.

3 – A 2-3 Second Blast

Now it’s starting to get interesting. This is when you would really like to knock someone out except that you are way too much of a coward to confront anyone physically, so you let your horn do the punching for you. Allowing another driver to merge is almost never done here without a good, hard blast on the horn. Civility and driving just don't seem to mix.

4 – Just Go Ahead and Lean on that Damn Horn

This obnoxious paroxysm of rage is reserved for the most serious offenses, but this doesn’t mean they are rare. Much like war crimes committed during WWII, reasons to employ this method of horn honking are all around you if you’re paying attention. Being stuck in traffic is no fun, but leaning on your horn gives you something to do and perhaps the sound waves emitted from dozens of angry horns will somehow push the jam along like a plunger releasing a clogged drain. Leaning on your horn is the only way to address crimes against humanity such as someone double-parked in front of you when you want to leave. Sure, you’ve committed the same offense at least three times on this same day, but rules are rules and you’re no maverick.

Bike Trouble

RIP Trek

My city bike fell apart on me last week. The rear wheel was grinding into the brake pads so I figured the wheel was way out of true and I thought I probably needed to replace the bearings in the rear axle. My mechanic called and told me that one of the rear stays on the frame was broken. I always thought that as I rode this old bike literally into the ground that in the end I would have a decent Trek frame upon which to build a new bike. As it turned out, the only thing that I bothered to salvage was the seat and post.

Since I bought my Giant Roam® hybrid two years ago the Trek had been relegated to city bike status but only when distances and time restraints made Valenbisi (our local bike-share system) travel less than ideal. There are also certain times of the day when the bike-shares bikes aren’t very dependable because of high usage so two or three days a week I really appreciated the flexibility of using my own bike around town. Now I need a replacement and the sooner the better

The problem is that I’ve had terrible luck finding used bikes here in Valencia. I’ve already bought two new bikes since I got here which are two more new bikes than I bought in Seattle where I had a steady stable of three bikes all bought used. I’ve been desperately seeking a cyclo-cross bike for the past year or so to no avail. People here seem to think that their used bikes are worth about 90% of what they paid for them years ago. “Priced to sell” doesn’t seem to translate. In Seattle I bought a great mountain bike used for about a quarter of what it went for new only a few months earlier.

The thing is, I don’t want anything too flashy for my city bike so as not to attract the attention of thieves—not that thieves are above stealing even the biggest pieces of shit. You more or less have to expect that your bike will be stolen if you leave it on the street to the mercy of the jackals so I don’t want anything that I will be too attached to either financially or emotionally.

Seattle City Bike

In Seattle I had an old and slightly modified Cannondale mountain bike that I used in the city with a more or less bullet-proof aluminum frame. I bought this one after an old Nishiki mountain bike I had before split in two pieces. Frames matter! I think the way to go here is with a fixie which is bike without gears based on track racing bikes but with a freewheel rear hub instead of the actual fixed gear of the racing models where you have to pedal backwards to stop. The newer versions have caliper brakes or perhaps a front disc brake. The advantage to these is the weight savings from not having gears and shifter. Valencia is very flat it makes sense to skip the gears for a city bike. I’ve never actually ridden one so I may change my mind on the no gears thing.

In any case, a bike without gears is infinitely superior to a bike with shitty gears which is the case on most lower-end bikes these days. Simplicity is often a virtue, especially when it comes to bad quality bike components. The market for used fixies here is completely stupid as kids want 250€ to 400€ for their little works of art. “Clásico” and “Vintage” are common descriptions used for over-priced merchandise. What it really means is a chop job done on an old racing bike and a bad paint job thrown in for these new hipster bikes. I don’t want to be a hipster, I swear. I just want to get from A to B quickly and comfortably without donating another bike to the Valencia Bike Thief Fund.