All Men Are Created Equal

   All men are created equal. Those are five words worth believing in and fighting for, yet those simple words have been forgotten as we heap praise on someone whose very existence spit in the face of that noble concept. The hagiographies filling the front pages of newspapers all over the world tell the story of someone who never had to do anything for a seat at the top of humanity—even the entitled moron who was our 45^th president had to get elected.

   The worst thing is that this insult to humanity, this monarchy continues as a new king has been named as a successor to the dead monarch, 244 years after the American Declaration of Independence that boldly set down those five words as a blueprint for democracy and self-rule. Granted, from the first day, America failed to live up to such a hallowed principle, but at least the idea was given a voice for one of the first times in human history.

Queen Given McDonald's Highest Honor

 A new king! In 2022! Is that really something the world needs at this moment in history, to leap backwards into the past? I understand that the British monarchs no longer actually rule or have any sort of real power, but to me that makes even less sense if you're trying to justify their continued existence. They serve a valuable service: they illustrate that all men are NOT created equal.

It’s time to do away with monarchies once and for all. Instead of finding where we stored the guillotines, I propose that we take all the money the royalty has stolen from the people and make all of those morons work at Burger King wearing paper crowns and making minimum. Then we can raffle off their position in the lotto's new game, "Queen for a Day."

Jesus, I just heard Elton John's new single, an adaptation (again) of "Candle in the Wind" with lyrics praising the old dead cow.

OK, that isn't true, but the day is young and I don't listen to the radio, so it could be true.