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Saturday, March 28, 2020

Entertainment in the Time of Pandemic

The above photo was was something a Friend posted on Facebook. I was bored and decided to comment.

How do you steal five eggs?

I suppose that I should have asked “why” instead of “how.” The last time I looked, eggs only come in packages of six or twelve. Five? That’s like stealing one damn shoe. She probably stole six, but lost one of them in the ensuing foot chase down the street. Or maybe one of the eggs was broken? The cops couldn’t really bust her for stealing a broken egg—that would be a total dick move—so they only charged her for stealing the five unbroken eggs.

And they brought her a truckload of groceries? Even if it were a small truck, that would be a lot of groceries. I wonder if there was anything good in the load, or if it was just boring crap like rice and flour and ramen noodles or whatever. I mean, it’s the thought that counts and all, but would it have killed them to throw in a couple pints of Ben & Jerry’s or a bottle of gin?

Am I over-thinking this? Probably? Did I mention that I’m more or less under house arrest here and I’m sort of climbing the walls and so freaking bored that I think I may need medical attention?

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