Sandwich de Huevo Frito y Queso*

Your Move, Food Snobs! 

My kitchen has yet to be awarded a Michelin star but who needs a star when you have a sunny egg and cheese sandwich? It's OK to hate me because I would hate me, too, except that after eating this I'm too happy to hate anything or anybody.

*Food sounds classier in another language

Superblocks - ¡Sí a las Supermanzanas!

Whether you call these superblocks, supermanzanas (Spanish), or superilles (Catalan for “super islands”) they represent an exciting idea in city planning.

Noirville: Tales from the Darkside

I have a short story called "Visiting Day" in this collection.

Short Stories From The Darkside

Towards the end of 2017 Fahrenheit Press launched a short story competition to showcase talented crime fiction writers from all around the world.

Our crack panel of judges whittled down the hundreds of entries we received to the 15 stories contained in this anthology. We believe these authors represent some of the most exciting crime fiction being written today.

The paperback edition will be published on March 30th 2018 and you can now pre-order your copy direct from us.

Click here to buy a copy (eBook or paperback).

 

Mistakes Will Be Made

“I hate spelling errors; you mix up two letters and the whole thing is urined.” – Annonymous

My childhood dream of becoming a superhero has finally arrived. As no one could ever accused me of thinking big, the superpower I imagined for myself was to be a tolerably good speller.* I just rely on spell-check, but it still feels pretty amazing. A few of the villains I have vanquished in this story: diarrhea, rhythm, rhyme, Fahrenheit, cemetery, and maneuver. If I’m forced to write with a pen and paper you’ll probably see these words crossed out after a few failed attempts and alternate words put in their place, e.g. “diarrhea” is replaced by the far less elegant “the squirts” and so on. 

*I’m talking about English. I have a very adversarial relationship with Spanish, French, Arabic, and even Greek, but they are quite easy when it comes to spelling because of a little thing called rules.

P.S. Poop and pee both touched on in this post. If I did a fart joke I would have hit the low-brow humor trifecta. I think that I just did!

Question of the Day

It's official: I'm old and grumpy. I suppose that beating someone to death with their selfie stick was going a bit far, but they were between me and a cup of coffee that I desperately needed.

I’m no psycho-lologist, but there must be some explanation as to why almost all of my attempts at humor end in death or grave injury. As the great Jack Handy said, “Someone slipping on a banana peel is funny; someone choking to death on a banana peel is hilarious.”