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Sunday, May 21, 2017

Investigations in Comparative Linguistics #512



No matter how long I live in Spain, when I hit my finger with a hammer the first 25 words out of my mouth are in English, in upper case, and way too vulgar for this forum. Integration is really hard.

My Native American name is Swears-Too-Much. I actually receive a medical pension from the Air Force for the Tourette Syndrome I caught while serving. Almost all vets suffer from this debilitating disease sometimes called the not-so-silent-and-very-profane killer.

Don’t be impressed by the word count as it’s sort of a prepared statement. I claim to be an atheist but it sounds a lot like an obscene prayer and the big guy’s name comes up a lot. As I said, I blame the military (for my language, not the fact that I'm crap at hammering).

People have told me that I should substitute other words, so instead of, for example, screaming out “shit” you use another word. That’s a lot to think about after a painful, self-induced injury but I tried that once or twice. Instead of screaming “shit” I yelled out “cocksucker” which didn’t seem to be any sort of improvement so why do people advise that?

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