Important Notice

Special captions are available for the humor-impaired.


Friday, July 20, 2012

One Nation Under Fire

A well regulated Militia, being necessary to the security of a free State, the right of the people to keep and bear Arms, shall not be infringed.

Our Second Amendment to the Constitution is an anachronism at the very least and an outrage at the worst.  Why can’t we just strike it down and write another, more specific amendment? It’s hilarious how conservatives will screech that gun control of any sort is ineffective in stopping these types of heinous crimes considering how this never happens in countries that make buying a firearm at least as difficult as buying a mini-bike.

Another day in America, another obscene gun-related massacre. People think of these shootings as isolated tragedies but gun violence, in one form or another, happens every day in America.  There are those who insist that it has nothing to do with the laughably easy access to guns for almost anyone in the country. Guns, the same kind of guns that this maniac used are easier to buy than a bottle of wine in the United States. People will insist that guns aren’t the reason for these slaughters. And the hand-wringing and arguing will go on until the next tragedy while our politicians are held hostage by the gun lobby.

The NRA is the most radical, extreme, and powerful lobby in our nation. There isn't a single gun law that they will accept. Not one. The NRA statement about this is interesting. They said that if even one of the victims had eventually gone on to oppose gun rights then this whole massacre may have a silver lining. OK, they didn't really say that but I'm sure a lot of NRA assholes thought it.

My brother made a brilliant point albeit totally obvious: there is nothing to talk about. We've been here dozens and dozens of times and you have those pleading for more gun laws and the others saying stupid shit like "if it's a crime to have a gun then only the criminals will have guns" and "if someone had only been carrying a weapon fewer people would have been killed." Every time something like this happens—and it happens quite a lot—the NRA crowd practically fall over each other sayings these things as if they were facts.

Why the fuck should I care? I live in Spain where this doesn't happen. I can't ever remember a gun-related crime in Valencia. And guess why they don't have gun violence? Could it have anything to do with the fact that buying a gun is very difficult? I have never seen a gun for sale here. You can buy hunting rifles here but I have no idea where you would go to actually purchase one. Guns are sold in all kinds of places in America. K-Mart used to sell guns back when I was a kid and used to buy guns and ammunition. I bought ammunition at K-Mart before I was legally able to buy bullets. It was as easy as buying candy.

Are movies and television to blame? Of course they are. The prevalence gun violence has in our popular culture is just creepy. I really notice it here in Spain where every American TV show and movie seems to have someone swinging a big gun around. A lot of action movies have a much higher body count than this most recent real-life massacre.  Does watching violent movies and television shows turn a person into a killer? Obviously not because I haven’t killed anyone yet and I’ve watched every violent movie out there.  I think that what watching violence on film does do is to lower a person’s outrage against violent acts. It’s hard to get worked up over a violent crime you read about in the newspaper after you have just watched an Arnold Schwarzenegger action flick.  I think we can at least rate violent movies as harshly as we do pornography. It seems absurd that we will let children watch the most graphic violence imaginable but they can’t watch two human beings fucking until they are 18.  

I wish that I had a nickel for every movie that I've seen showing how a gun empowers an individual.  In most movies guns and gun violence are cool. Guns solve problems, guns help the weak to vanquish evil, and guns make you look thinner. I’m not sure about that last statement. Maybe the gun has to be black to make you look thinner or perhaps you are just supposed to shoot anyone who says you look fat.
If you really care to see, first-hand, the pathetic level of discourse that rules our nation just skip over to the comments section of any online news service. You will see every loopy, moronic defense of the right of an individual to walk down the street armed to the teeth, just like this diseased piece of human shit in Colorado. People act as if our constitution is some holy document sent down from heaven instead of a working contract in need of occasional revision. If our constitution is so infallible then how did we allow slavery for almost 100 years? Obviously the Constitution is pretty fucking far from perfect and we definitely need to rewrite the whole part concerning the citizen’s right to have firearms.

The cruelest joke in all of this completely sickening culture of gun violence is when people ask, “How many more massacres must occur before people decide to do something about it?” The easy answer is at least one more because after each one we all mourn and rant and the shit flies in every direction and in the end the NRA tells us that the government (We the people) can’t take away our guns.  No, we need at least one more gun-related outrage, and after that perhaps another. Fuck it, let’s just admit that we aren’t going to do a damn thing about this. We will just live with this sick level of gun violence because we want to be "free."

Obama called on the nation to pray and reflect. You know what? Stop asking me to pray because it’s insulting to rational individuals. That’s exactly the same as asking me to blow on the dice so you can roll a lucky 7 or whatever.  If you want to pray then by all means, pray your brains out, but the reason we have a democracy is because we decided a long time ago that god just wasn't getting shit done. Praying doesn't work, it absolutely doesn't change anything and it certainly has never made our lives better, so when a politician asks me to pray then I have to wonder why he has chosen the life of an elected official.


  1. The fact is that if the government would relax its ban on concealed weapons, then chances are that a couple of patrons in this theater would have been able to stop this guy and save several lives.

  2. Sorry, but that's the dumbest fucking thing I've ever heard in my life.

    1. Yep. You blame the creepy gun violence on the movie culture, and yet out the other side of your mouth, say you watch those movies and YOU haven't killed anyone. Bully for you, but you cannot have it both ways. How about blaming the asshole who deliberately made a conscious decision to kill? I can probably guarantee that if you were ever the victim of a violent crime and don't get killed, you would be the first in line for a weapon to self-defend. Or maybe you prefer to stand up in the theater while someone wants to kill you and start singing Kumbaya?

      Concealed carry is allowed in CO, but it does no one any good when a local establishment bans something that, by law, is legal for crying out loud. So your response to Anon above makes you look like an asshole because it IS entirely possible he is right and lives and injuries could have been spared.

      A armed society is a polite society. Case and point: Switzerland. They have a mandatory requirement for all military aged (18?) to be armed and current with shooting capabilities. What do you think the creepy gun violence rate is there? You're chest puffing just makes me laugh. At least use some facts instead of emotion to drive your rants. PS...47% of Americans legally own weapons. And not surprisingly violent crime rates are going down and are at the lowest since World War II.
      You have Bloomberg encouraging anarchy and yet he bans big Gulps? Really? So strike until there is MORE gun control. THAT is idiocy.

    2. And you wonder why people delete your unlettered and uncivil comments? I wouldn't allow anyone to talk to me like this to my face. And I don't need a fucking firearm; I'm a pretty well-trained jiu-jitsu artist. I have no desire to argue with someone with your world view.

    3. "An armed society is a polite society."

      Except the US. Or Russia. Or Mexico. Or Somolia. Or...fuck, you get my drift.

      Denise. Seriously...you are deranged and stupid beyond belief.

  3. Well as an American I am entitled to my loosely-formed, uneducated opinions.

    1. Which is why the rest of the civilized world think's we're a bunch of shit for brains hicks.

  4. I don't own a gun. Got this far without one.

  5. The massacre (if you can call only 12 dead a massacre) makes me want to see the new Batman movie even more.


If you can't say something nice, say it here.