Sunni Family Disappointed Suicide Bomber Son Forgotten So Soon After Car Bombing

Sunni Family Disappointed Suicide Bomber Son Forgotten So Soon After Car Bombing

Bagdad - The family of Ahmed al Basur told a local reporter that they couldn’t believe that everyone had already forgotten about their son only a day after he sacrificed himself to Allah in a car bombing at a Shiite market. The blast only killed three other people beside Ahmed al Basur, a recent barber school drop out. The news of his attack was soon overshadowed by reports of a bigger and more deadly car bombing the next day carried out by Khalid Ras al Teez, valedictorian of his high school class.

“We can’t believe that butthead Khalid had to go and steal our son’s thunder. We think it was in very poor taste,” Ahmed’s parents confessed. “He should have let Ahmed milk the headlines for at least a couple days before his attack. He just lucked out with the higher body count because that pre-school bus just happened to be driving by. We had barely put Ahmed’s big toe and part of his ear in the ground and Khalid goes and blows himself to hell. He always was a little show off.”

When questioned, Khalid’s parents said that their son was always highly goal-oriented and it wasn't his fault if the al Basur’s son was an under-achiever.

Valentine’s Day Poem From Husband Creeps Out Wife Of 23 Years

Bill Ocher, fired from three different employers because of sexual harassment complaints from coworkers, decided that he wanted to do something special for Valentine’s Day for his wife of twenty-three years. He wrote her a love poem.

“I guess that he was trying to be romantic for once in his life but he must be so out of practice that he’s completely alien to the concept. I’ve been living with the man for most of my life but I have to tell you, I was about ready to get a restraining order. Since we are saving up for a new clothes dryer I decided to go the more economical route so I bought some pepper spray. If he tries to spring any of the acts on me that he wrote about in his “love poem,” he’s going to get two eyes full of hurt,” said his wife, Agnes.