The Myth of Happiness

"I'm just not happy. I'm just not happy. I'm just not happy because my life didn't turn out the way I thought it would." Hey! Join the fucking club, ok!? I thought I was going to be the starting center fielder for the Boston Red Socks. Life sucks, get a fucking helmet, all right?! "I'm not happy. I'm not happy." Nobody's happy, ok!? Happiness comes in small doses folks. It's a cigarette, or a chocolate cookie, or a five second orgasm. That's it, ok! You cum, you eat the cookie, you smoke the butt, you go to sleep, you get up in the morning and go to fucking work, ok!?

-Dennis Leary

The idea that happiness is a state of being that can be sustained indefinitely is a program brought to you by Hollywood and Disney. The Hollywood/Disney version of life promises that if the individual dutifully consumes the specified products then life will be an everlasting amusement park ride. No thinking is required. Thinking is a messy affair that often leads to self-reflection and original thought. This is better left to the market research folks. Let them decide what is best for us and then they will communicate these ideas via TV commercials. Advertising has been the most effective means of disseminating ideas in the past 50 years.

The quote that most thoroughly defines this post-modern lifestyle is, “I just want to be entertained.” We spend a lot of time and a whole lot of money on entertainment in this culture—we have to spend our money on something, after all. Entertainment is just another way for us to alter our consciousness; something we try to do most of our waking day, in one way or another. There is nothing wrong with change your perception of the world around you...and why wouldn't you? Have you read a newspaper lately? Just about every society, from the Romans to the Incas to modern America, has found ways to alter consciousness. Some means to this end we find acceptable and legitimate while others remain less than acceptable and often illegal. Perhaps these vices do bring us happiness, but it is short lived.

I am of the opinion that happiness is a temporary state of being. For some it is more temporary than others but for each of us happiness comes and goes. To announce that your goal in life is to be happy seems as naïve and childish (to me) as wanting to grow up to be a princess. How do you plan on achieving happiness and maintaining it indefinitely? No cheating, Prozac doesn’t count.

I’m just guessing here but I think that for a lot of people happiness is the opposite, or the absence, of boredom. This is what I call the jet-ski-yourself-to-happiness theory. Adherents to this theory demand to be served up entertainment that has already been completely digested and requires no thought on their behalf. Thinking is a slow and boring process and is best avoided.

Then there is the shop-till-you-drop theory. This school of thought simply dictates that having the right combination of possessions will ensure a certain degree of happiness. If you collect all of the Barbie Funhouse accesories necessary for a perfect life then you will be happy. I think this theory explains in part our society’s fetish for celebrities. We see the people in People magazine as having perfect lives. They're good-looking and have every material offering. Even when the stars tumble our fascination with them is more sympathetic than schadenfreude.

What I find interesting is that the celebrity profiles that make up most of modern journalism are full of testimony that the stars find happiness to be every bit as elusive as everyone else beneath them (and we are all beneath celebrities). These are people who are way beyond a nice house in the suburbs and a Volvo in the garage in terms of material well-being. They have unimaginable wealth and yet they suffer from the same dilemmas that plague those of us who breathe a far less rarified air. Imagine that! Do you mean that wealth doesn't free you from the responsibility of being a human being?

If I were writing a self-help book this is the part where I would furnish a lot of answers. Sorry but I'll leave that task to the armies of charlatans out there in the field of self-help books. There will be no down-home homilies, no tough love, no 10 steps to personal happiness. It is my personal belief that happiness comes on a whim and a lot of the time there isn’t a thing that we can do about it. It's not that I don't want to be happy. I think happiness is great. I'm all for it. I just don't think that it is a factor in our lives we are able to manage to any significant degree. You just get up and go to work. Good luck!