Why I Hate Game of Thrones

Exactly what you would expect the author to look like.

All of this is in addition to the fact that the show is a tribute to fascism. Leni Riefenstahl must be turning in her grave and kicking herself for kicking the bucket before Game of Thrones first aired.

The intro. The music is stupid, and bombastic, like everything else about the series, so I suppose that it’s perfect. The intro also takes way too long. I would have never made it to a single episode without fast-forward. I was in a little village sitting in a cafe and I heard a kid in an apartment somewhere practicing his trombone. He repeated the four notes of the GOT theme a couple dozen times earning himself justifiable homicide status if you happen to be one of his neighbors.

The acting. It’s impossible for there to be good acting in such a childishly simple melodrama. Most of what passes for acting on the show is close-ups of the queens’ faces looking stern, forlorn, or some other comically melodramatic trope. After the battle, it’s a contest to see who can look the forlornest. Long, long, way too long shots of faces which the directors think is the same as acting. It isn’t.

If any of the cast actually are capable of acting, they were never given the chance in this production that tried to overpower viewers with schmaltz and circumstance in every scene. By the end, I hated everyone, even a couple of the actors I initially liked.

The story. After eight seasons almost nothing has changed in the story. We’ve been hearing about the dead from the North and how terrible they are. Then we get an orgiastic battle in which it’s impossible to keep score one way or the other.  Then their wicked leader is slain in a fairly pedestrian manner: knifed by a child. This will now serve as the new definition of anti-climax. “The zombies don’t win in the end? I never saw that coming.”

The dragon girl carries out The Final Solution.

The hot dragon-on-dragon action. Ugh, just didn’t do it for me. The images of the blond gal flying around on the dragon like the Red Baron made me laugh.

The dialogue. Clichés on top of piles of older, deader clichés. There wasn’t a breath of fresh air in eight seasons.

The groveling to royals. I can almost understand Brits digging all of the “milady” and “milord” and “my queen” and “bend the knee” crap, but it should sicken Americans. GOT needs a good peasant uprising.

The best part. It’s over. Praise YAWEH, it’s over!