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Tuesday, May 06, 2014

Ring At Your Own Risk!

It’s 08:35 and some maniac is ringing my door repeatedly from the street below. The balcony over-hang keeps me from seeing the front door of the building (my intercom doesn’t have a camera). It must be someone distributing shopping flyers because they don’t even allow emergencies before nine o’clock in Spain. Dropping a potted plant is probably too extreme considering the possibility of collateral damage. Where is a big bucket of excrement when you really need it?*

After a moment of reflection I’m not sure the old adage “It’s better to have a big bucket of excrement and not need it than need a big bucket of excrement and not have it” is true unless it were a Tupperware® bucket with a really good lid.

*I wish I had a nickel for every time I've had this thought.

Son las 08:35 y un maníaco está sonando mi puerta desde la calle. El balcón me impide ver la puerta principal del edificio (mi portero no tiene una cámara). Debe ser alguien distribuyendo folletos comerciales, ya que ni siquiera permiten emergencias antes de las nueve aquí en España. Dejar caer una maceta es probablemente un poco extremo por la posibilidad de daños colaterales. ¿Dónde hay un gran cubo de excrementos cuando realmente lo necesito?

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