I’m sure you’ve heard this one many times before,
a fiction that has
racked up some serious mileage on the internet about some old gal who goes
into a liquor store and is rebuked by a fabricated “young cashier” for not
using recyclable bags when she makes her weekly purchase of 22 bottles of cheap
gin. Then the figment of someone’s imagination older woman goes on to lecture
the young socialist about how green she was a million years ago when she was
young and what a solipsistic ass-wipe the young cashier is and how she should
mind her own business and go back to Cuba.
But who created the world in which this haughty
young cashier lives? Who built the world where you need a car to effect every
necessity away from your home, where public transportation is looked upon as a
socialist plot? Who created a disposable culture in which we use about a
zillion paper coffee cups a day and single-serve plastic bottles of water? The
alcoholic granny had more to do with making that world than a minimum wage
liquor store clerk —or at least acquiescing to its implementation, and sorry
grandma, the Nuremberg defense won't work.
Her generation also gave away American manufacturing jobs so that about
the only work this kid can hope for are shitty and demeaning jobs without
benefits where you have to bite your tongue when some sanctimonious cow goes on
about how her generation was so much better than the snot-nosed little shits of
today.
The subtext here is that anyone who talks about
the environment is an over-privileged, know-nothing wiseass who deserves a
smack across the face after you set them straight about the way the world
really is according to Rush Limbaugh, Sarah Palin, and other high priests of
simplemindedness, people for whom “environmental wacko” and eco-terrorist” are
synonyms for anyone who even hints at actually doing something to clean up our
planet because some nut who chains himself to an old-growth redwood is a lot
more dangerous than the logging company bent on chopping down every last one of
them to make patio furniture.
I would imagine that the people this phony little
anecdote appeals to are those who support political candidates who wouldn’t
back a single environmental initiative, even something as basic as the
protected species act. This is basic conservative propaganda whose sole purpose
is to make people feel good about themselves for holding on to their
narrow-minded and often dangerous world view when it flies in the face of
reality.
Had this really happened I would have applauded the old drunk had she told the clerk to go take a flying fuck but it isn't a true story, of course it isn't. So granny, the next time you visit the liquor bargain warehouse
shut your fat cake hole and bring a reusable bag.
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