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Thursday, February 02, 2012

What's the Deal with Hippies?

What’s the Deal with Hippies?  #1

Although this has never happened to me it would make me smile to see some children yelling and pointing, “Mom, look! A hippie! Can we keep it?” The mother replies, “Oh hell no, the last time you forgot to poke holes in the lid of the jar and it died.”

Just because I love children and I think that pets can teach kids about responsibility.

What’s the Deal with Hippies #2

A hippie would blow his own dad for just a tiny bit of weed. I guess the real question is who (or what) wouldn’t a hippy blow for a bit of dope?  I’d prefer to never know.

What’s the Deal with Hippies: True/False Test

One True answer means you’re a hippie:

1)      I have tried to bum weed from a total stranger.
2)      I’ve had a conversation about the guitar solo in “Stairway to Heaven.”
3)      I camped out all night for tickets to see Rush only to find I didn’t have any money.
4)      I have used the expression “blow your mind” without being ironic or sarcastic.
5)      When confronted by well-meaning friends complaining about my body odor I tell them to “chill out, man.”
6)      I have smoked oregano on occasion.

What’s the Deal with Hippies #32

In August of 1972 at an outdoor concert in Redmond, California Jerry Garcia performed a four day guitar solo.  Appalling, yes, but not as bad as the fact that none of the 12,438 hippies in attendance moved from where they were standing, not to go to the port-o-lets, nor to shower, and definitely not to apply deodorant (not that any of them brought deodorant).  The toxic fumes from the rock concert completely annihilated a neighboring population of vultures (Cathartes aura)—so much for the hippy’s supposed “love” for the environment.

What’s the Deal with Hippies? #33

OK, we all like to joke around but please remember: hippies are people, too.  Well, that’s not entirely true at all but it sounds nice.  Although they share a bit of our DNA, hippies are more or less the biological equivalent of mules. They are an offshoot of human evolution but unable to have offspring.  It’s not that they lack the reproductive capacity; it’s simply because they are too stoned to have sex.

I forgot to mention that you should always wash your hands after coming in contact with a hippie so you don't get salmonella.

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