Important Notice

Special captions are available for the humor-impaired.

Friday, November 23, 2007

This Aggression Will Not Stand!

As I was riding along the beach bike trail today I came across another old, fat, naked pervert standing within a few meters of the bike path doing some sort of pulling motion in the groin area. I was really hauling ass through this stretch so I just kept pedaling. I did my usual loop around El Saler beach but before I came back to the area inhabited by pervos, I stopped and picked up a couple of big rocks to throw. When I returned, creepy was still standing there flogging away and looking fairly pleased with himself that he had another visitor.

His expression changed radically when he saw me bearing down on him with my arm ready to throw. I let off the first cannonball which hit way in front of him but with enough force to spring up and really scare him. I could have easily nailed him with the second shot but I showed a bit of mercy and just threw for effect. He started to run into the bushes and I passed. He must have thought it was over at this point because he started to return to his masturbatory staging area. I stopped, dropped my bike to the ground and started throwing every rock I could get my hands on. He started to run away and I began yelling at him that families and children use this bike trail. I asked him if that’s what he was looking for, to violate a child. He whimpered a “no” as he picked up his clothes and ran in the other direction, away from the trail. I told him that I ride through here daily and if I saw him again I would kick his ass (Te daré una paliza, puto.).

Do you think that I overreacted/under-reacted?

Important Pervo Update!

He’s back! I rode past his spot yesterday and I could see him from about 100 meters away. He also saw me and immediately started frantically bushwhacking naked through the scrub pines and saw palms. When I got closer I yelled to him, “No seas tímido, quiero sacar una foto para mi página web.” (Don’t be shy; I want to take a picture for my web page). Perhaps the camera will prove to be mightier than my threats to do him physical harm. There’s a new sheriff in town and he’s packing a digital camera.

One part of me almost admires this creep. Think about the sort of commitment it must take to keep this perverted vigil in the cold weather, standing amongst the thorns and vermin, patiently waiting to ambush the very occasional cyclist that may pass by here on a weekday. I tip my hat to you, creepy, but if I see you there tomorrow I'm going to peg you with a fist-sized rock, so help me god.

No comments:

Post a Comment

If you can't say something nice, say it here.