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Tuesday, May 17, 2005

Hello, My Name is Technical Difficulties, Captain Technical Difficulties

I’m seriously thinking about changing my name to ‘Technical Difficulties.’ That way whenever I sink my web site I can blame it on technical difficulties and you will all know that it was my fault. It’s not as if this thing is technically difficult to anyone with the faintest grasp of whatever it is you call web site stuff. I’m sure that geeks have a name for it. I would probably have less difficulty reading Mandarin Chinese than something having to do with html or ftp.

If I were still in school I would get beat up by the other kids because my site is so completely devoid of any technical sophistication. Leftbanker.com is the technical equivalent of children making a fort out of couch cushions. Take a look around this dump. No streaming video, no bells, no whistles and yet I can’t seem to keep this boat floating.

The Leftbanker garbage scow almost sank with the entire crew, but with a bit of help I was able to bail out enough water to bring it back above the surface—at least for now. With all of the preoccupation with keeping the U.S.S. Leftbanker from sinking it has been hard to worry about content. I can’t be expected to write essays during a disaster. That’s like asking the captain of the Titanic to sit down and play a tune on the piano while his boat is torpedoing to the bottom.

I had some problems with my hosting server and I was unable to publish anything for a few weeks. The only contact I had was via the crappy little comments box—the life boat of the foundering ship of Leftbanker. I paddled around looking for survivors but I think that all of my readers perished. Sorry, but it’s not my fault if you can’t fucking swim. I’m back at the controls and I’m steaming back into the virtual sewer known as the internet. Full speed ahead.

Think of this essay as a rechristening, a bon voyage party for all of the great things to come. I will cruise around the entire internet, not that there is much to see. After you take away the very necessary 99% of the internet used by porn sites there isn’t much left. 99% of the 1% not represented by porn sites is filled by right-wing assholes. I’m sure that somewhere in the world of the internet there is a tiny speck of an island that is not a complete waste of time. The tiny speck of an island that is not a waste of time is definitely not Leftbanker but maybe I’ll take you there…barring any technical difficulties. Wear a life vest this time.

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