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Monday, October 18, 2004


After an exhausting day of shopping at the Galleria Mall I can’t think of a better way to relax than to enjoy a few margaritas and some fine food at La Casa de Mierda, a Mexican restaurant located at the north end of the mall and at 25 other locations in the metropolitan area. It's the biggest Mexican restaurant franchise in the country so you know it's good. You should try the grande burrito and make sure you get a double shot of tequila on the side for your margarita—you may need a little buzz to deal with all the heavy traffic on the way home. There is plenty of free parking at the mall so don’t do anything silly like car pool or take the bus--the bus is only for poor people.

What if you get too drunk to find your Ford Excursion in the parking lot? Don’t worry, just crawl back inside the mall and check out the brand new Cineplex 35, that’s right, 35 theaters and all of them are showing Sister Act VI*. Isn’t that the most marvelous thing you have ever beheld? I won’t tell you how the movie ends but I just about shit myself laughing. I actually did shit myself laughing but only because that Mexican food goes right through me. No problem, they were having a big sale at J Crew on slacks today.

After the movie you should be sober enough to find your car. Next time use the valet parking so you won’t have to stagger around the parking lot for twenty minutes hitting your remote car alarm. There are hundreds of Excursions out there because everyone around here is so outdoorsy. Better stop to fill up the tank. That Excursion sure is a gas hog but man is it comfortable. Did you feel that little bump? I had the same thing happen to me last week and then when I got home I found a bicycle crushed up in the wheel well. Just think what that bike would have done to a small car. It might have jolted the car so hard I could have lost my cell phone connection. I have a family to think about so that’s why I drive the biggest truck on the road.

I know you are still feeling a little tipsy but you’d better step on it if you are going to catch the season premiere of that reality show where the people do all of those dangerous things. This week I think they are going to parachute out of an airplane. There is a ride like that at Six Flags that I want to try some day. If you Tivo the show you can edit out all of those annoying commercials about joining the Army.

Aren’t you sick and tired of hearing about that stupid war? There are at least two articles in the paper about it almost every day. It is so boring I wish everyone would just shut up about it. That’s why I subscribe to People Magazine. After a day of shopping at the mall, having lunch and drinks at the Mexican joint, seeing Sister Act VI, and then watching reality TV at home, sometimes I just need some mindless entertainment .

*I know I should pick another movie to pick on but I’m sure Sister Act is the most awful movie ever made although I haven’t actually seen it.

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