The Circus' Shit List

The circus is set up in the parking lot across from my building. There are a bunch of weird animals out there which is kind of cool—something you don't see every day. I jumped up on the fence and started yelling at the workers, " Do you guys have any midgets? I don't see any midgets. What kind of circus are you running without any midgets? I want to see a midget riding a pony. Could a really small midget ride a goat if it was a really strong goat? Where do you keep the midgets? What's in that box over there with the lock on it? Shouldn't you poke some holes in it so they can breathe?"

They threatened to call the cops on me if I didn't shut up and then a guy tried to squirt me with a hose. "What's funnier: a monkey riding a pig or a midget riding a goat? They are both pretty funny aren't they? Why don't you have a rodeo like that? Wouldn't that be cool? OK, I'm leaving."

p.s. This is the kind of shit I do when I don't have anything to write about. I realize most people think I'm a moron but I’m also writing about traffic reduction policies, not one mention of midgets in the whole thing. Well, there is this one little anecdote about a midget that drives a bus, but that sort of fits in with the story and it’s cute. You can't put a price tag on cute when it comes to good, solid journalism. I have to pester someone else now.